We are all familiar with the idea that “everything is connected to everything else”, but we rarely take time to consider the full meaning of these dynamics of interconnectedness in our lives.
Why should we bother? Just think of the power to influence and shape something, be it your body, a relationship, or a project you’re involved in, that you get by understanding how it works, as opposed to the feeling of helplessness and discomfort that we feel when we are involved in something that we don’t fully understand. When we are aware of how things affect each other within our life’s system, we can be more effective in creating change and do it with ease, because we know where the “strategic levers” are, rather than make effort in the wrong places with little result.
A simple example of this interconnectedness between different elements in our life is that when you’re physically well, you also feel well mentally and emotionally, and this positively affects your relationships, your work, how you choose to spend your time, and your ability to enjoy your life. When you are unwell physically, a negative impact is felt in most other parts of your life and you are likely to feel mentally and emotionally low as well.
A more interesting example is that when something “snaps into place” in one area of your life, when some new alignment or a “good fit” is created between what is most important to us (our values) and the way we actually live our lives -- how quickly this elevates our experience in other areas of our life, that are seemingly unrelated. Have you noticed this in your life?
Our values are part of who we are. When one or more of them is not honored in our life, whether it is blatantly disregarded or simply not expressed enough, we are disregarding a part of ourselves. As a result, we can experience general malaise and discontent, a sense that something is “off” about us and/or in our lives. We may carry this discontent inside us for years without knowing the exact source of it.
Not understanding the source of this “off” feeling means not knowing how to shift away from it, which can result in carrying around depression, disappointment and self judgement over the long term, and feeling that we are but passengers in our own life, sitting in the back seat, being carried along, hijacked by circumstances, taken for a ride to places we have not chosen. It makes you feel small and helpless.
When we take the time to explore and become aware of our personal truth -- our core values and priorities, what we really want and why we want it, and how well they are truly expressed in our lives -- we can begin to see how we can bring more alignment and harmony into our lives, wherever it may be lacking. When we can pinpoint the source of our discontent we can see how to fix it.
In other words,
answering these questions for ourselves makes it possible to take strategic steps to make our lives more conducive to and supportive of achieving our goals and heart’s desires. We begin to feel empowered, as we have finally moved into the driver’s seat of our life.
Once we get ourselves into the driver's seat, by simply choosing to become aware of our truth -- boy, is the view different from this seat! Boy, is the whole experience of your life journey different, than when you were in the back seat, feeling hijacked by circumstances, reacting to whatever comes your way…
As you begin to make these changes, bringing your life into greater alignment with who you are and with what matters most to you, ensuring that your core values are well respected and well expressed in your life, you experience the ripple effects of these actions radiate into other areas of your life, like the ever widening ripples created by throwing a small pebble into a lake.
Your level of overall energy increases, your ability to experience joy in anything you do expands, you develop more of a sense that things are “right” in your world, which affects how you feel about yourself and your life… This affects how you relate to others, which affects your relationships, and how willing you are to reach out and take advantage of opportunities that life puts in your path, that would have been too scary to face before. To give you a personal example from my life, experiencing more alignment with my core values in my work, lately, has made me more willing to try new things and take “risks”, reach out to new friends, have more energy overall, enjoy my down-time much more, and even find readiness to try dating again.
Becoming clear of our core values and of how they relate to and impact our lives is therefore no theoretical, “personal growth-woo woo” pursuit. It is in fact a very practical, powerful and empowering strategy for making sure that we can make the most out of life and enjoy it to the fullest.
My workshop Values as a Compass for Shaping the Next Chapter of Your Life, which will be offered again as part of a Fall Retreat, October 9-12, 2023, is a great opportunity to begin to explore and grow your awareness of your values and their power in your life. In this small group setting, in a safe and supportive environment, surrounded by nature, you can reconnect with what is most important to you at this point in your life, and identify steps to help you get into the driver’s seat and shape your life in a way that will support you in living an authentic, fulfilling life.
There are two remaining spots in this year’s Fall Retreat (as of this writing). JOIN US! Click on the name of the workshop above for more information about the full retreat.
If you’re interested in exploring this issue but unable to make it to WA, you’ve got options! I hope to make this workshop available online in the coming months. Stay tuned for an announcement on that.
Or, if you rather not wait, I can help you explore this area, from getting clear on your values and priorities to figuring how they are affecting your life, to lining up a plan of action to ensure your core values are well represented in your life, to staying accountable and dealing with what may hold you back, in personal coaching sessions via Zoom. Contact me to schedule a time for us to discuss the possibilities!
Questions you may want to ask yourself:
What are my five most important values?
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 = not at all, and 10= very much so), how well does my life reflect and support my most important values?
Got comments, thoughts or questions on this subject? I’d love to hear them!
